Regret

I regret to inform you that my motivation didn't last long.  Guess you must have figured that out.

Since it has been quite a while, I would like to share a few things. . .

First,

there are no words to describe the beauty of the sunrises and sunsets near my home. 

Second,

there is a roadrunner living in the windowsill of my garage.  We call him Reggie.  My husband thinks it may be Regina.

Third,

my first born returns from his first semester of college in one week.  Is it just me or did he just graduate from high school one week ago?

And lastly,

speaking of my first born. . .you may be interested to know that he has been called to serve here!

Motivation

I finally put my finger on it.  I'm not motivated.  Good thing Dr. Oz set me straight.  While recently watching his show he spoke right to me when he explained you have to act first, then motivation will follow.  I mistakenly thought it was the other way around. 

I gave it a try, with things like exercise, eating right, and even posting on my blog.  Turns out, he was right.  As I make an effort, motivation kicks in and sees me through.  Not only that, but I'm motivated to act again.  Genius. 

Be Strong

"Be strong and of good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee withersoever thou goest."  Joshua 1:9.  This is the Young Men and Young Women theme for the 2010 year. 

I think of this scripture often and it reminds me that I'm not alone.  It reminds me that my children are not alone when they are away from me.  It reminds me to be brave and stand up for my beliefs.  It reminds me to take heart in each new day and opportunity I'm given.  It helps me negotiate life. 

Aha!

I figured it out.  It hit me yesterday.  When my father died, I quit journaling.  I didn't want to write it down, or express my thoughts about it.  Too difficult.  Time slipped away and it was years before I started jounaling, now known as blogging, again.

So every day for the last week I've logged into my blog, but refused to write.  Then the Aha! moment hit me.  My first born has left home and I really don't want to talk about it.  Too difficult.  I realize a bird has left the nest and others will soon follow.  I realize I'm getting older.  I realize bigger moments like missions and weddings are literally right around the corner, and I just don't want to talk about it.

So I won't.     

Obstacles

 
I'm out of rhythm.  Can't seem to find a routine.  Every day is a different wake up time.  Don't know when to schedule in exercise, scripture study, or blogging.  I'm still reacting to everything as it hits me, instead of preparing for it's impact or perhaps even preventing an obstacle from slapping me in the face.  I'm hoping time will help me sort out our new routines. 

In the meantime, I wish my college boy was scheduling time for blogging.  He could write of funny stories that happened on campus, or detail what he ate for dinner last night, or acknowledge if he has clean clothes to wear or talk about obstacles he has to overcome.  I'd be a "follower" for sure, never miss a post, and maybe even make an occasional comment.  But since it's time to officially cut the apron strings, I'll settle for the occasional phone call.  I'll climb the obstacle that is called letting go.

Two Items of Business

Item One:

I was a substitute teacher for first grade today.  At the end of the day a child said to me:  "Mrs. Clark, you are so weird.  Promise me you'll never come back."  Nothing like a slice of humble pie. 


Item Two:

My son leaves for college in the morning.  Nothing like two slices of humble pie in one day. 

Press Forward

Phineas and Ferb are always telling me "there's 104 days of summer vacation. . ." but we only got 80.  My kids have already put a big, red X over 8 school days and only have 172 to go.

Schedules are crazy again.  Nights are short.  Days are long.  But there's one thing I have decided I must do, and that is press forward.  As Timon once said, "You got to put your past behind you."  You must learn from the past, mind you, then continue to press forward.  There is always hope in a new day.  Most things in life, dare I say all things in life, can be overcome. 

So as Kuzco and Pacha once said before they fell over a waterfall with sharp rocks at the bottom:  "Bring it on."

 

I Swear It's True

The Washington All-Star boys of summer made their way to San Bernardino today to compete in the Western Regional Baseball Tournament.  One of those boys happens to carry my DNA.

He called tonight to say they'd arrived safely.  Then he asked, "Mom, is this heaven?"  And I replied, "No, it's Iowa."

Kidding.

He actually said, "Mom, this field we're gonna play on is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my life. . .
besides you."

I swear it's true.

Reflection

It's been a year since I had to brace my emotions and brace my son physically.  It's hard to believe we can put a big red X over the past year.  Only five more to go.  I have to say it's certainly gone smoother than expected, and that is due mostly to my son's positive attitude.  I'm so thankful for his discipline and courage. 

Reflection of the past year reminded me of the time I ran into my husband's grandmother in the church hallway one Sunday afternoon.  She asked what we were doing in town and I told her my sorrowful scoliosis news while fighting back tears.  When my story was complete she continued on her way and said, "If you're going to have kids, you're going to have trials."  I was left with an open mouth, fully expecting sympathy - not sound advice.

The past year has taught me that a grandmother who's had her share of trials in a lifetime (like losing her husband in a plane crash shortly after she had their ninth child) knows what she's talking about.  Life is full of trials and the key to getting through them is positivity and hope.

I hope for a time when we can give the brace the boot.  Until then, we'll continue to slap the brace on and slap a smile on our face while we're at it.   

It's Done

 
I did it. It's done.  Finally.  Remember this post from January? Well I just now got around to opening the box and getting out those plastic gloves.  Only I didn't use them.  I wrapped a towel around my shoulders, gave the plastic gloves to my 10-year old daughter and told her to "go nuts."

Know what?  She did a great job!  My husband came home from work and didn't even notice I had washed that gray right out of my hair - which is a good thing because it means we matched my natural color really well AND that my gray wasn't so obvious that coloring it made me look different.  Exactly what I was hoping for. 

I also got a coupon from Great Clips in the mail for a $6.99 haircut so I cruised on over and got some layers to improve the curliness of my curls.

Amazing what you can do with a five dollar box of color and a seven dollar haircut.  Negotiation IS the name of my game (even if it does take me six months to get it done). 

Soda and Chocolate

 
Anyone who knows me knows I have a hankerin for the sweeter things in life.  As proof, I must tell you that once a Relief Society sister called to ask me if I would lead a group of women in early morning exercise.  I respectfully declined the invitation but offered to lead a group of women in the early evening who wanted to eat treats.

My treat of choice for the past 25 years has been soda, Coca Cola to be exact, and chocolate.  Recently, June 10th to be exact, I gave up caffeine and haven't looked back.  It was a healthier choice I felt I had to make.  Chocolate, however, is still on the menu (in moderation of course) and perhaps can even do me some good?

Just to mix things up, I threw caution to the wind while driving through Sonic and mixed my two favorite things:  soda and chocolate.  That's right - Sprite with chocolate flavoring.  And you know what?  Mmmmm, mmmmm, good.  It was very Sprite-tasting with an after taste of chocolate.  Right up my sweet tooth alley.

Venus

Our move brought us to a home that is nestled against a hill.  The bonus of this is that there are no homes behind us - only hill and sky.  The sky makes for enlightening entertainment on summer nights, especially since my son recently acquired the Star Gazer App on his phone, making it possible for us to identify stars and constellations.

The star that is most easily identified each night is Venus.  It's always there - always bright - no matter the weather, no matter the night.  (Hey - that rhymed!).  So as we sat gazing last night I offered a bit of motherly advice to my children.  I advised them to be like Venus, which is to say: reliable, radiating light.  And seeing as advice is defined as "a recommendation offered as a guide to action," it's my hope that seeing Venus in the sky will always be a call to action - a call to love.  Venus is, after all, named after the Goddess of Love.

Finally

Summer FINALLY arrived at my house last Wednesday.  It came with a 7 AM morning temperature of 74 degrees - but because summer had arrived I didn't meet it until I woke up at 9 AM at which time the temperature had risen to 79.

Summer's arrival was official because the day was wide open.  No plans, appointments or ballgames.  A leisurely morning turned into an hour of toastiness pool side.  Lunch in town, an Orchard Salad, followed by downtown window shopping.

My favorite part of the day was dinner.  Pandora boasted Michael Buble and the likes (Nat King Cole, Frank Sinatra, Norah Jones) while we cooked and danced around the table.  Chicken Supreme was our main dish with crusty french bread and fresh peaches.

After dinner we made a quick run to the nearest gas station for Reese's Peanut Butter Cups and licorice to snack on while watching America's Got Talent.   And when the sun had FINALLY gone down, we sat on the back porch and star gazed into the beauty of a sky untouched by city lights. 

Welcome summer.  Feel free to stay a while.   

Free Candy

So there we were, the Detroit airport, making our way from one gate to the next for our connecting flight home.  I was in "hurry up" mode and had gotten quite a ways ahead of my husband and son.  Because of the distance I'd gained I could not hear my husband calling my name.  After several attempts of trying to alert me that I was losing them, he hollered "FREE CANDY" and stopped me dead in my tracks. 

My first thought was, "I hope it's chocolate" as I turned to see who was giving out free candy.  Then came the realization that there was no free candy as I saw my husband and son laughing at knowing me all too well.  I moved to the "stand" side of the moving walkway and waited for them to catch up.  We made our way to the gate and because we made it in plenty of time I rewarded myself with a Mrs. Fields cookie, or three, I forget.   

Sidetracked

My family had a laugh last night at my expense.  It seems I had gone to get a band-aid for my husband's blistered feet (football camp) and never came back.  On my way to the cupboard for band-aids, I stopped to put in a load of laundry, then wipe down the kitchen counters and soon his poor feet were the last thing on my mind.  He accused me of having a Homer Simpson moment - like the time Homer knew the guy his sister-in-law was about to marry was a fake but instead of objecting, this is what happened. 

In fact, it's funny because as I put the laundry in (instead of getting band-aids mind you) I remembered that my son had asked me for a book earlier.  Two days earlier. But I got sidetracked.  You might wonder why my husband didn't get his own band-aid, and my son his own book.  Afraid the blame lies with me.  You see we've recently moved and as I'm unpacking I'm easily, well, shall we say, sidetracked.  So the band-aids and books and other things are in random locations that only I know.

So the order of the day will be organization!  I'll put everything in the place it should go, right after I check my email, pay some bills, fold some laundry, do the dishes. . .

Basal Cell Carcinoma

Wear your sunscreen.  They've been warning us for years.  I never listened.  I'm a quick tanner, inherited it from my dad.  He used to get so dark in the summer that he told me he was an Indian.  I believed him until I was old enough to figure it out (last year).  So imagine how silly I felt holding my husband's hand in the dermatologist's office while they cut off a piece of his face containing basal cell carcinoma.  Me with a golden brown tan, and a doctor with several assistants looking at me thinking "you'd like to be next would ya?"

So I'm turning over a new leaf.  Sunscreen has become part of the morning routine.  Carnation Instant Breakfast, allergy meds, sunscreen.  It's taken some getting used to.  I have to admit I love the way I feel/look with a good tan.  But I'd like the next 40 years of my life to be as cancer-free, not to mention wrinkle-free, as possible.  I figure one of the best ways to negotiate life is to eliminate as many negative variables as possible.  Sunburns are one negative variable I can actually do something about.  Now if only there was a way to eliminate dirty dishes.  

Post Script:
After writing this post I ran into town.  I ran into a friend of mine who has been battling cancer for years now.  Not the cancer that gets cut off, but the cancer that grows from the inside out.  My heart sank as she revealed the cancer is not going away.  I bought her a soda and we drank to tomorrow.  It's my hope/prayer that she'll have many more tomorrows.  It's my hope/prayer that I'll always have the gratitude in my heart that I felt tonight.  Gratitude for good friends and gratitude for the opportunity to negotiate life. 

Absence of Schedules

So lately just living my life requires negotiation.  I haven't spent a solid day in my house since we moved in June 1st and summer began.  We've been living our life out of suitcases, mostly due to baseball related travel.  I was starting to get a little irritated, thinking I haven't even had my swimsuit on yet and it's going to be the 4th of July next week.  In fact, I'm still not completely un-boxed and don't even know if I could find my swimsuit if I tried. 

Then it hit me, summer is the absence of schedules.  I'm gonna stop looking for the lazy days of summer and start enjoying the fact that we run like the wind all day and fall into bed at night when PM is turning into AM.  I should be glad that I haven't had a regular trip to WalMart for groceries since June 5th.  Soon enough I'll be buying chips and drinks for school lunches and once again we'll be living our scheduled life like clockwork. 

I'll enjoy my days spent soaking up sun at the ballpark and eating snack shack hot dogs for lunch.  Bring on the days scheduled according to game time - not work time.  And here's to you Mr. Portable Toilet Cleaner Outer  - since summer is the absence of regularity - we appreciate your service - even though we throw back ice-cold ROOT-beer with our dogs.

Its A Small World, After All

Here is a list of cities I was in this past Friday:

Cooperstown, New York
Palmyra, New York
Syracuse, New York
Detroit, Michigan
Salt Lake City, Utah
Provo, Utah
Saint George, Utah

Here is a list of people I ran into in those cities:

Cooperstown:  A high school friend I haven't seen in 20 years.
Palmyra:  Former next-door neighbors.
Syracuse:  Baseball teammates
Detroit:  A former co-worker
Salt Lake City:  Former next-door neighbors parents.
Provo:  In-laws.
Saint George:  Three children who missed their parents for eight days.

I'm Lovin It

A few things I'm lovin in New York:

My hair.  The humidity has given my curly locks some stupendous ringlets.  I could do a great rendition of "The Good Ship Lollipop."  Darling.

The scenery.  Green, rolling hills are a beautiful sight and they go on forever.  Love the vintage homes.  Unbelieveable. 

Fireflies.  Never seen one before in my life, until yesterday.  Amazing.

The food.  Deli's, Pizzarias, and Bakeries, oh my!  Tasty.

Quality time with my husband.  Precious. 

Afternoons at the ballpark watching my boy play.  Thrilling.   

Opportunity for more of life's negotiations.  Awesome.

Busy

Busy watching baseball games at Cooperstown Dream Park.  Busy eating glazed donuts from Schneider's Bakery as suggested.  Busy eating pizza from New York Pizzaria.  Busy strolling the halls at the Baseball Hall of Fame.  Busy congratulating the Red Dirt Boys on their win.  Busy loving life.