Bamboozled

Recently while finding out what my weather "feels like" on weather.com I came across an ad for teeth whitening. My kids have been buggin me for teeth whitener, but it's so dang expensive. It looked like a screamin deal so I foolishly clicked around until I'd agreed to a "free" trial, only having to pay s and h (shipping and handling).

The whitener came, then kept coming. Each time it came, my bank account was deducted 80 big ones. The money gone like a fart in the wind (is Shawshank your favorite movie too?). I made frantic phone calls to "Dazzle Smile Premium White" explaining how I only wanted the "free" trial. They told me to return the product for a full refund.

Well I did return it. And when the money never got refunded, I made more frantic phone calls. Now, instead of telling me they need more time to process my return, they are actually telling me they are not going to refund my money. I know, rude!

Lucky for me my bank is going to dispute the debits from my account and if Dazzle Smile won't pay up, they'll credit my account. So here's a shout out to Central Bank for having my back even when I've played the fool. And may I offer some friendly advice? Teeth whitening is probably best negotiated by your dentist.

Trials

The other night my boy lay on my bed waiting for me to strap his brace on for the night. This means he lays face down, head turned to the right, left arm over his head, right arm down at his side. It's then my job to feel carefully for the spot just between the bottom of his ribs and the top of his hips so he's comfortable (if that's possible) in his brace. The last step requires I pull three Velcro straps tight so they reach a predetermined mark on the brace. I don't know if I'll ever be able to reach that mark, but I'm trying. Call me crazy, but I have a hard time cinching my son's shoulder blades together.

While we were going through this procedure, he asked me if I thought this was the biggest trial he would ever have to go through in life. I sighed, not wanting to be the bearer of bad news. I finally mustered the courage to tell him if that were true then he would be the luckiest boy in the wide world. I explained that though physical trials are indeed very difficult, it's often the trials that affect us emotionally that are the hardest. Then I told him how my Dad always used to say to me: That which does not destroy us, will make us stronger.

Personally, I feel trials are like exercise. The more you have, the easier they get. A positive attitude is most definitely helpful, which is why I adore my son for not complaining about the brace. And trials are a lot easier to negotiate if you're wearing comfortable clothes and some cool sneakers.

Another Christmas List

Yesterday was nuts. I was running from 5 am to 9 pm with not a minute to spare. When I came home from Young Women's I was spent and suffering from a terrible headache. Then I found a Christmas list from my little girl. This is what is said:

Load in. (meaning laundry)
Wash counter.
Clean up room.
Clean up Mom's room.
Put shoes in basket.
Clean kitchen table.
Water Christmas tree.
Done.

Each item had a square next to it that was X'd off when accomplished. What a joy to come home and find out someone (other than Bill O'Rielly) was looking out for me! Her Christmas stocking has an angel on it. How appropriate. She may just find a little something extra in her stocking this year. :0)

Gratitude

You're familiar with the old saying, "I cried because I had no shoes, then I met a man who had no feet." This actually happened to me last week, figuratively speaking.

I was feeling quite stressed with Christmas fast approaching, bills to pay, my son's college application, and unknown future possibilities. I let my grumpy mood overtake me.

Wednesday night we went to the high school to watch my beautiful, talented daughter dance at the half time of a basketball game. There is a large window that overlooks the court. As I glanced up at it, I saw a friend of ours. She is a mother about my age, with kids the same ages as my kids. She has been negotiating with cancer for many years now. We recently ran into her at the grocery store the day before Thanksgiving. She shared with us her glad news that her cancer was in remission and expressed her joy at the prospects of growing her hair back. Now it is less than a month later and her cancer is back.

As I watched her I was overcome with guilt. Here I was feeling irritated with the "what ifs" in my life when the "what ifs" in her life made mine pale in comparison. I can't imagine living with the prospect of "what if" I'm not here next year. So I've decided to put my life in perspective. I can deal with the issues on my plate, and I can deal with them with a positive attitude. I can look for opportunities to be a little kinder and a little more patient. I can live each moment with gratitude in my heart. Most importantly, I can remember what the Christmas season is all about - our Savior who died to save us all from the "what ifs" of life.

My Love Affair

I'd warn you not to tell my husband that I love another man, but he already knows. Lean in real close and I'll tell you his name. And no, it's not Tiger Woods! Are you ready? It's the sandman. Oh how I love the sandman.

Each night at nine o'clock the sandman and I have a date. I look forward to it all day. My kids have shamelessly outed me to friends and family. They tell how I start getting ready for this date shortly after dinner has been cleared from the table. Preparations include donning my favorite pajama bottoms. They are red flannel with wiener dogs and they were a hand-me-down from my husband's cousin. SUU t-shirt and wool socks come next. My hair gets pulled back in a ponytail and make-up gets washed off with Vaseline since I'm too cheap to purchase eye make-up remover. On a side note, I've been using Vaseline to take off my mascara for 25 years. Just last night I noticed a warning on the jar that said, "Do not get into eyes." Who knew?

As the evening passes by I anxiously check the clock like a kindergartner on Christmas Eve. I grow giddy as the nine o'clock hour nears. When the time finally arrives I order children to gather for prayer. Hugs, kisses and expressions of love are given. Then that's it, I'm done. No more questions, no more homework help, no more phone calls. We crank up our fan for white noise and the sandman and I are finally reunited (and it feels so good). We stroll off together and in moments visions of sugar plums are dancing in my head.

If I've been careful with my beverage consumption, my date with the sandman usually lasts about eight hours. Then we've got to part ways for 16 hours. Oh the long, long 16 hours. So here's to you, Mr. Sandman. I hope our love affair never ends.

A Season For Giving

Don't know if you've heard, but Christmas is drawing nigh. Time for finding the perfect gift is running out. But, I bring you tidings of comfort and joy because my best friend has a website that will help you give the gift of a gift card with a few bells and whistles too. Giving has never been so easy. Check it out @ http://www.giftcardgirlfriend.com/

Be sure to enter the gift card giveaway. This little reminder is a gift from me to you because I am also entered in the giveaway and by inviting you to enter, I'm lessening my chances to win. See how generous I'm being this Christmas season? You're welcome!

Christmas Wishes

Last night my son came to me with his Christmas list. I'll share it with you now.

10. A NEW CAR!
9. 5 golden rings
8. A flat screen TV to go in my bedroom
7. A little brother
6. My heart back
5. A snow globe
4. 140 gigabyte for my new car
3. A new English teacher
2. Billy Mays commercials on DVD
1. Fat Head

This was followed up with his REAL Christmas list.

10. A new ipod
9. New shoes
8. I don't have an "8" so I trust you to get me something cool
7. A new football - Wilson GST with black laces found at Sports Authority
6. To sleep in until 6:45 on school days (his bus comes at 7 mind you)
5. A quarterback wrist band from Dad's office
4. New golf clubs
3. Seeing Dad become the best Offensive Coordinator ever
2. New games for the Wii
1. Your love

Baby It's Cold Outside

Though winter isn't officially here until Dec. 21st, I've certainly felt Jack Frost nipping at my nose. Here are a few things we do to negotiate the cold at our house in an effort to keep ourselves toasty warm. . .

Rice Bags. If you haven't heard of these, you're missing out. To make a rice bag, you simply need a piece of fabric (we used a piece about 2 ft by 1 ft) and some rice. Sew the fabric together around the edges, being sure to leave an open spot for the rice. Turn it right-side out. Fill it up with rice and sew up the hole. Whenever you feel a chill, simply put the bag in the microwave for approximately three minutes and then snuggle up with it. It's also great for tummy aches. If you choose a cute Christmas fabric, it will magically turn into a great Christmas gift for friends and neighbors.

Hot Cocoa. My youngest girlie is the hot cocoa maker in our house, thanks to a great gift given to us called the "cocomotion" (thanks Sara!). Simply put your cocoa of choice in the cocomotion (we use candy cane cocoa), add milk, and push a button. In moments you'll be warming up from the inside out!

Ironing sheets. This is a trick I learned from my mom as she did it for me when I was a kid. Simply plug in the iron near your bed and then iron the sheets (while they're on your bed mind you). Be sure to get way down low where your feet go, that's the best part. Then jump in (being sure to unplug the iron so you don't get REALLY toasty in the night with a house fire) and drift off to dreamland where you'll dream of yourself on sandy beaches.

Drying clothes. This trick is one of my favorites and helps the kiddies be motivated to get their clothes on in a hurry. All you gotta do is put their clothes they've picked out for the day in the dryer and run it about ten minutes. Then get them out and put them on in an instant. I highly recommend the socks go in too as keeping the tootsies warm is of the utmost importance.

Snuggle. A super great way to keep warm, and probably my favorite, is a good old-fashioned snuggle. Not to be confused with the "snuggie," a snuggle is where you and someone you really like sit right next to each other. Arms are wrapped around one another and heads are nuzzled into necks. Legs are entwined and body heat is shared. You'll find that once the snuggling has begun, the heat in your heart will increase three-fold and the love that you feel will likely keep you warm for hours on end.

Schedules

Here's what my day looks like:

4:37 am Wake up due to bladder that is toast.

5:00 Get Emily up - make her Carnation Instant Breakfast (CIB).

5:45 Take Emily to dance (10 miles round trip).

6:15 Get Jamison up - make him CIB. Dress him cause he can't bend at the waist.

7:00 Take Jamison to bus stop.

7:15 Get Alex up - make him CIB.

7:45 Get Maggie up - make her an Eggo.

8:00 Encourage Alex to stop looking at Cougar highlights and go to school.

8:30 Take Maggie to school.

9:00 Give blood.

10:00 Stop at WalMart to pick up necessary items.

11:00 Make tomato soup for lunch.

11:30 Go to work at elementary school a.k.a. babysit other people's kids for four hours

3:30 Pick up Maggie and come home.

4:00 Take Jamison to basketball practice (30 miles round trip!)

4:30 Self-medicate with Coca-Cola

5:00 Make dinner

6:00 Go to Young Womens

8:00 Come home and try to negotiate a real connection with husband I haven't seen all day.

9:00 Go to bed, so I can do it all over again tomorrow!